Things to Remember

I am pitifully behind on this blog. But I am ignoring that for the time being. Not giving up--just temporarily disregarding. (So be on the lookout for a string of summer blog posts in January).

Typically, I do not use think of this as a space to record personal insights. But I recently learned something significant enough that I wanted to write it down somewhere I would be unlikely to lose it. During the final hours of 2018, I thought I would squeeze in a few thoughts.

Here goes.

As a mother, I have struggled for years with the concept of happiness as it relates to my maternal role. This does not mean I am unhappy to have a family--on the contrary, motherhood has brought me joy beyond anything I could have hoped for. However, becoming a mother has brought with it this critical misunderstanding:

"My children's happiness is my responsibility.

Therefore, it my child is unhappy, it is my fault.

I should be happy and cheerful all the time.

If our family is unhappy, it is my fault."

The misguided nature of these statements is obvious. A mother certainly influences the well-being of her child. She should be meeting a child's basic needs, as well as mental and emotional needs, and a positive attitude on her part should be encouraged. But asking someone to be happy all the time and make sure everyone else is happy all the time is just too much pressure for one person, right? It's unreasonable.

I know that. But it's surprisingly easy to know one thing and find yourself sort of believing in the opposite of that thing.

I felt so confused. For a long time. And I'm still confused about most things. But in the past few weeks, I had a sort of epiphany in regards to this particular conundrum.

This is what I now choose to live by:

"Happiness is a complicated concept.

It can get mixed up with lesser ideals like pleasure and gratification.

To what extent should happiness guide one's actions?

Where does one draw the line between the happiness of others and individual happiness?

Happiness is too complicated. Forget happiness.

Instead, choose love.

Love is much less confusing. It is purer. It is nobler. Not to mention--it is powerful.

Let love guide your actions.

As you cultivate love in yourself and others, you will find true peace and happiness."

I don't believe I came upon this knowledge on my own. I believe that I gradually gathered bits and pieces of wisdom from trial and error, from the examples of others, from quiet moments when I turned my heart to God.

Some of those quiet moments were spent in an effort to finish reading the Book of Mormon by the end of the calendar year. I made a goal to do this back in October after our prophet, President Russell M. Nelson, asked us to read the book in this specific time frame. Some days I was more diligent than others. Some days slipped by me when I wasn't sure if I remembered to read or not. But I finished it today, just barely in time to meet that goal.

What has this experience taught me?

I believe it taught me a little bit more about love. It was the path that Christ walked. It is the path he asks us to follow.

So, as I face a new year, I resolve to turn my focus on love.

After all that, I can't just casually say "Happy New Year," can I? So how about I say:

"I hope your new year is filled with love... AND happiness."

Don't completely forget happiness.

A Dance Through Roma and Paris

Ramona's dance recital was on Wylie's second birthday. Forest and I decided to divide and conquer for this event: I pulled Ramona out of school early (one one of her last days of third grade), took her to her mandatory dress rehearsal, and stayed to watch and take videos. Forest and Mika went to the performance a few days later while I stayed home with Paula and the birthday boy so he could take a much-needed nap. I think this worked out well--our two-year-old boy has no business attending a dance recital if it can be avoided. (One-year-old Wylie was challenging enough at Ramona's recital last year.) And I still got to watch my young dancer prance around on the stage.

Ramona's ballet class danced to a song called "A Day in Roma."

Her jazz class danced to "Paris Holds the Key to Your Heart" from the movie "Anastasia."

Photos I took from the rehearsal:

The official program (which lists the wrong song for Ramona's ballet class--oops):

Mika and Forest at the show

Bravo, Ramona!

Two-Year-Old Wylie

My baby is two. Here is how he spent his special day:

Eggs and fruit for breakfast

Some pictures with baby bunny

 A red balloon from the party store

 Getting ready for his little party

 Backyard dinner with the Palmers

 James and Wylie

Greatest Showman karaoke for the girls

Leftover cake with two candles

It was a party. After our friends went home, Wylie got to open presents.

He is really scrutinizing this Spiderman Duplo set in the photo below. Could it be that he remembers opening that same gift a year ago and wonders if I hid it from him and wrapped it again?

After all that, Wylie's favorite gift was decidedly a tiny flashlight that came with his Spiderman pop-up book. It has little buttons that make noises to go along with the book. But forget the book. This- Flashlight- Is- AMAZING.

Dear Wylie--my precious Little Love,
   You complete our family in the most perfect way. I can't imagine us without you. Your mischievous smile lights up the room, and you are quickly using your new speaking skills to make funny statements that help us forget our problems and just laugh. The comic relief you provide for our clan is absolutely priceless.
   Your curiosity when it comes to how things work is quite remarkable. The mechanics of how a door can open and close. How a switch makes a light bulb turn on and off. How fan blades spin in a circular motion. How the buttons on a remote control change the picture on the TV. You are completely enthralled by the process of getting an object to open, close, light up, spin, stop, or change.
   When it comes to fixing a broken object, you are almost obsessive. We can't have a burnt-out light bulb or a worn-down battery in the house without you repeatedly demanding that we do something about it. (You have been know to do the same at other people's houses, too). Also, something like a chirping smoke detector is such a big deal, you will talk about it for weeks.
   I love how you comfort your sisters when they are sad. You put your face right in theirs and offer a gentle kiss or a hug. Despite having an aptitude for destruction and disassembly, you really do have a tender and sweet disposition.
   At some point you adopted the stuffed rabbit and its baby as your own, and the cuddles you give them are a charming depiction of your capacity for love and affection. You make my heart melt again and again. I love you so much and always will.

-Mama

Almost Two-Year-Old Wylie

We got a visit from Grandma a couple of days before Wylie's second birthday. She had just been in Mexico, and brought him a straw cowboy hat as a souvenir. 

He wore it around the house for a while, added some black cowboy boots as a finishing touch, and then showed off his new style to the neighborhood when we went for a walk down the street.

When the sprinklers came on by the sidewalk, the kids decided to play in the water before going home.

Once she was clean and dry again, Paula showed off some reading skills to Grandma.

Perhaps feeling inspired by those sidewalk sprinklers, the next day, we picked up some lunch and went to a sprinkler park in Loveland so the kids could get wet again.

In the afternoon, the girls enjoyed playing with Lacey and Cagney, Grandma's dogs.

At some point that day, I put together Wylie's birthday cake so we could celebrate while Grandma was still in town. It was about the time the kids were really raving about "The Greatest Showman" movie, so I attempted a circus-themed cake. It looked a little bit like two elephants sinking their legs into the top of a circus tent, but I didn't have too much of a problem with that.

It was good enough for Wylie, so it was good enough for me!

After cake, Wylie got to open up some presents from Grandma a whole day early.

Thank you Grandma, for the gifts! And thank you for visiting us!