August 2021

Concert at the Foundry, August 13, 2021

My life right now is very different than it was two months ago, and worlds apart from a year ago. 

Every school morning I get a mask on each of my kids' faces and put them on a school bus. Then I don't see them again for several hours. I am happy for them that they get to go to the school building and that they don't have to try to learn from a computer screen. I am happy for me that I have this extra time to myself. Although it is scary to be able to hear myself think. The past 10 years there has always been enough commotion around me that my thoughts were usually in the background. Now sometimes my thoughts are too loud, so I have to find something else to listen to. 

I've been playing my cello a lot more. I played principal in the last concert and am in the driver's seat of the section again for the next concert. That means I need to not mess up too bad, so there is some extra pressure, but I have learned a lot and it is really rewarding.

It's easier to exercise. Especially since I hate exercising where anyone can see me. It's easier to connect with God. For me, scripture study and prayer is more meaningful in solitude.

The house isn't as clean as I hoped, despite having this extra time alone in the house. Rather than organize my nest, I have found myself spending hours in front of a laptop lining up logistics for the orchestra (I am still the personnel manager), and also stepping out of the house to visit and catch up with friends. But I have my moments where I dutifully clean, and try to bring some semblance of order to our home. I do want it to be a peaceful, welcoming place for the kids to return after school. 

Maybe sometime this week I will dig through some old photos and post those. Where am I at, May 2019? That was eons ago.

May 2019 Orchestra Concert

This concert was a milestone for me because it was my first time playing principal cello for the Loveland Orchestra. Not because I got promoted--I got bumped up to that seat because Heather Cowan, who usually sits principal, had a scheduling conflict. But it was still an exciting new experience. You play differently when you are supposed to lead the section . . . you want to give the right cues and help everyone stay together. You need a tighter connection with the maestro as you watch every flick of his baton and work with him to execute clean entrances and cut-offs. 

The program was mostly movie music, but also featured the winner of our 2019 Young Artist Competition, which was organized by yours truly. Emma Johnson blew everyone away with her piece, "The Lark Ascending," by Vaughan Williams. She actually made one of the judges (Maestro Louie) cry at the competition because her playing was so pure and beautiful.

This show's movie music theme inspired a few fun costumes. Our second bassoon player's husband dressed up as a T-Rex (nod to Jurassic Park), and Mika dressed up as Rey from Star Wars.

After the show with my stand partner and dear friend, Anita Kufeld:

So long, Star Wars. Goodbye, Imperial March, with your relentless bass line. Adieu, Princess Leia Theme and Jurassic Park Theme--thanks for sharing your soaring melodies with the cellos. Will I ever see you again?

Another Wednesday Morning

 It's Wednesday morning again. Hello. The kids were allowed to go to school this week (miraculously), and I got another stretch of quiet time with the house all to myself. 

It appears as though Joe Biden will be our president next January. But things still feel pretty unstable--Trump won't concede, and he has taken to lawsuits to try to win back what he believes is rightfully his. A lot of people are on his side. The nation feels as divided as ever.

A vaccine is on the horizon but people are still getting sick. No stay-at-home order, yet, but I started teaching lessons with a face mask this week. It's better than trying to teach over a computer. 

Time to go get my little boy from preschool. Can't wait to see his grin. :)

October 2020

It's been over two months since I posted anything on here. I am still woefully behind on my backlog of photos I've wanted to include from last year. There are so many happy moments I want to preserve and remember through images and include some journaling to go with it. But it is hard to sit down and reminisce about more peaceful times when the current world is in so much turmoil. We are months into a pandemic that has turned everyone's lives upside down--there are weekly battles with anxiety and depression. The civil and political unrest is horrifying, and more than once I have had nightmares where the president of our nation is a despicable villain from whom I had to protect my family. To top it off, our side of the country has been on fire for weeks, causing it to rain ash, painting the sun an eerie red, and leaving an inescapable scent of smoke in the air.

But there are some silver linings.

I have recommitted myself to my family. Being pushed to my limits as a wife and mother has forced me to reevaluate my priorities and determine how I can move forward to best preserve and improve these relationships. Despite the brutality of 2020 and all of us seeing each other at our worst, we are still together. We have found ways to better support each other in moments of weakness, and, perhaps out of necessity, have learned to trust each other more. It is still hard--sometimes the kids just desperately crave space from each other, which isn't always easy to provide. Schools are only partially open (as of this week), activities are still limited, and restrictions abound. We are home a lot and get on each other's nerves a lot. But I like to believe that most of the time, love still wins in this house. Even when it's a sore battle, and she wears the scars to prove it, she still comes out on top more often than not. And maybe, because she's had to work so hard, she is stronger than she was before. 

I miss playing in orchestra. I miss that big sound that surrounds me and fills our performance space. I miss weaving different fabrics of symphonic sounds together with my musician friends. But I have learned to appreciate other instrumentations, too. String trios with my students. A quartet for a wedding. A double trio that performed at church a couple of weeks ago (Ramona played her violin and was by far the youngest in the group, but kept up just fine). Of course, unaccompanied Bach for cello. 

. . . and solo piano, although I wasn't the one playing (thank goodness). Last Friday, Forest and I went to our first live musical performance in months. I got an invitation to a faculty recital by pianist Adam Zukiewicz at UNC and was thrilled that we were able to go. There were only about 12 audience members in the entire performance hall, all of us socially distanced and clad with face masks. He opened with the solitary, brooding notes of Beethoven's "Moonlight" Sonata, and I felt my eyes get a little wet. It had been too long.

I asked Forest if he would drive us through a Culver's on the way home to add just a little more sweetness to the evening. He was happy to oblige.

Real Time Post--An Almost Perfect Relatively Uneventful Thursday

I keep slipping with this blogging business. Eventually I will write an entry about my 6-year old's 5th birthday, but I'd like to pause with one real-time post to say that today has been an almost perfect Thursday.

Wylie is such a big boy now--potty trained and proudly wearing his PJ Masks or Paw Patrol underwear during the day. But small enough that I still get to keep him with me while his sisters are at school.

This morning we exercised together, then went to a yoga studio to redeem $75 worth of free merchandise with a gift certificate we won at a library event last summer (I know, it only took me a few months to get over there. So happy I didn't lose it before it expired!) After we grabbed some groceries (I got an amazing deal on applesauce and Teddy Grahams), we went to the library for Story Explorers story time where Miss Andrea read us a book about a polar bear. Then Wylie got to play with some fake snow and tiny arctic animals . . .

. . . and squirt warm water on a blue ice cube to simulate a melting iceberg.

We came home for lunch, then cuddled on the couch to read a couple of Curious George books. I love that Wylie will still sit on my lap and let me nuzzle his head.

Next, I sat at the piano to work on this, with Wylie's help (he loves the piano these days):

He also played his own little songs with me before I let him turn on his favorite show--Boss Baby.
While he's watching, I might even have time to practice this:

Beethoven 5. I can't wait for rehearsal tonight!

Stay tuned for documentation on Paula's 5th Birthday . . . it's coming . . .

November 2018

This more or less sums up November, one year ago:

Fall Cello Recital:

Ring-around-the-Rosie

4th Grade Music performance honoring veterans--

Daytime show attended by Forest:

Evening show attended by everyone else:

April Ottley, Ramona, and Mia Lambert:

Winter Wonderlights, Loveland:

Loveland Orchestra brass quintet freezing their mouths off:

One broken garage door (that may or may not have been entirely my fault):

One new garage door:

Harry Potter party:

Harry Potter obsessed Mika:

Cute Paula: