Some days I feel like I've been alive forever. Days when the last hour
before the kids are asleep seems like an eternity. Days when society
looks vastly different from the way I perceived it as a youth. Days when
my two-year-old asks me questions about how the world works, and I get
the urge to respond: "That's just the way it is."
On other days the preceding years of my life appear short and
fleeting. On those days I find myself staring in awe at my children,
disbelieving how quickly they've grown. Disbelieving,even, that they are
mine. I am more self-conscious of my shortcomings and inexperience and
wonder if I'm doing enough with my time and energy. The world looms in
front of me with all of its beautiful opportunities, and I am reminded
of how much of that I have left untouched.
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| Ramona mixing birthday cake mix from Aunt B |
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| Pouring cake batter into the pans |
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| Mmmm...chocolate frosting |
Perhaps, in reality, most days fall somewhere in between. But on my 27th
birthday, the two types of days seemed to be happening simultaneously.
Somehow, I felt both ancient and juvenile at the same time. Maybe it's
the email from my dad I find in my inbox every birthday in which he
unfailingly reminisces about the day I was born, saying he remembers it
as clearly as yesterday. Maybe it's the phone conversation I always have
with my grandmother around birthday time, in which she tells me she
only feels her actual age physically--she explains how, mentally, she
barely feels a quarter of the years she has lived. I wonder if I will be
able to say the same thing when I am 90.
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| Finished product--thank you Brittany! |
At any rate, regardless of this mix of "old" and "young" emotions, I
am going into my 28th year with some sense of renewal--maybe not from
head to foot inclusively, but head
and feet, exclusively.
HEAD: Postpartum hair loss has hit its peak this month, and having
hair trailing most of the way down my back no longer seemed worthwhile. I
had enough to donate (I guess for the 5th time now) so I said goodbye
and chopped it to a little past my ears on Monday. Ahhh...much better.
FEET: After having significant ankle/shin pain following my first
ski excursion (and recurring pain for several years previously), I
finally went to see a podiatrist at the end of last month. I have arch
collapse issues in both feet, as suspected, but was told the left foot
was borderline surgery, which was worse than I thought. Doctor
recommended custom orthotics right away to prevent further damage and
strain on the rest of my body, so they took molds of my feet at that
appointment, and I picked up my new little insoles last week. These
orthotics are supposed to be working for me full-time, supporting my
feet at least 8 hours a day.
Hopefully these small changes will prevent me from feeling older
than I actually am--both physically and mentally. Bring on the
birthdays!
